Creating Culture by Design

RELATIONSHIP CULTURE describes the PERSONALITY or ATMOSPHERE in a relationship. It involves the norms, values, unwritten rules, and behaviors that CHARACTERIZE how people in that relationship do things like:

—act,
—react,
—communicate,
—solve problems,
—resolve conflict,
—build trust,
—show support,
—provide encouragement,
—demonstrate love, and,
—consistently treat one another.

CULTURE in a relationship is created by DESIGN or DEFAULT.

In most relationships, we simply DEFAULT to the culture of our “family or origin” or a combination of dysfunctional relational habits and patterns we’ve picked up throughout life.

I harp on CULTURE because it is so important. When the culture of our marriage became unhealthy, it was the beginning of the crisis that almost destroyed us.

Have you ever wondered why ARGUMENTS over trivial matters escalate and become colossal?

Answer: Relationship CULTURE.

Or, why you immediately ASSUME the worst about the attitudes, motives, or intentions of your spouse, kids, boss, or employees?

Answer: Relationship CULTURE.

Or, why you and your spouse constantly criticize one another and rarely encourage each other?

Answer: Relationship CULTURE.

Or, why affectionate gestures like holding hands, gentle hugs, or tender kisses have been replaced by a clenched fist, cold shoulder, pursed lips, and the silent treatment?

Answer: Relationship CULTURE.

GET THIS: CULTURE in a relationship is created by DESIGN or DEFAULT.

Want to create CULTURE by DESIGN? TRY THIS for SEVEN DAYS. (There’s obviously more to write on this important topic, but begin with the following.)

• Institute a NO-COMPLAINING RULE. That’s right. No complaining. Period. For seven days.

• REPEAT. After seven days of living out the NO-COMPLAINING RULE, repeat it! Seven more days. Then, seven more. Then, seven more. You get the drift.

• COMPLAINING and negativity have become a part of the CULTURE in way too many relationships. They need to be eradicated. Do it. Be relentless about it.

• Take time every day to EXPRESS APPRECIATION and ENCOURAGEMENT. You can’t just eliminate the negative; you need to replace it with something POSITIVE. Replace it with APPRECIATION and ENCOURAGEMENT.

• Find something — a character trait (dependability, optimism, kindness, etc.) or an action (taking out the trash, washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, etc.) and express APPRECIATION and ENCOURAGEMENT for it.

• Find something new every day for seven days.

• REPEAT. After seven days of living out daily APPRECIATION and ENCOURAGEMENT, repeat it. Seven more days. Then, seven more. Then, seven more… Yeah, you know the drill.

• Finally, PRAY God’s Word daily over the people you’re in a relationship with. Don’t complain about them to God. Get a glimpse of what God says about people in His Word and start declaring GOD’S WORD over them. For example, pray passages like Philippians 1:9-11 or Ephesians 3:14-21 over them.

CULTURE in a relationship is created by DESIGN or DEFAULT.

You can begin changing the CULTURE in your relational world today.

Try these simple, not easy, but simple actions. You’ll be amazed at what can happen when you get INTENTIONAL about CREATING GREAT CULTURE in your marriage, family, or business.